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Lessons from the Ash Heap: Feelings of Grief (Pleas for Relief)
February 25, 2024, 7:34 PM

Grief is a powerful emotion.  As we have examined over the last few weeks, I have outlined causes of grief and discussed the grief journey.  Today we seek to understand the emotions Job felt.  We hear him cry out for relief.

The powerful emotions of grief sweep over us often, repeatedly, and suddenly.  They find expression in various ways.  Sometimes we grieve loudly, sometimes in silent resolution. 

If you are grieving right now, I offer a simple word.  It is ok.  God is not angry at you for expressing your grief.  His son cried out from the cross, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me.”  He can handle your cries.

The psalms resound with exultant worship.  They also cry out in struggle.  Entire Psalms are called Psalms of Lament.  They are crying out from the depths of pain whether the pain is emotional, physical, or national.  (Two examples: Psalm 90 is a national psalm of lament, and Psalm 22 which is a psalm of personal supplication) Whatever the cause of your grief understand that you can express it to God.

We will hear the words of Job as he struggled to give voice to his grief.  I offer this blog for two groups of people.  First, for those who are grieving you may hear your heart echo with Job’s.  Allow your emotions to find expression.  Feel what you feel.  Express it to God.

Second, I speak to those who walk with the grieving.  God does not need you to defend him.  Instead, be a sponge to your family and friends.  Let their words come.  Try to understand but know that you cannot fully understand.  Let their words flow.

This message records Job’s struggle.  Job speaks.  The friends respond.  They missed the chance to receive the words of Job. He is crying out in agony and bitterness.  At one point Job speaks for six chapters.  We find the heading on those meaningful, “And Job continued.”

The bulk of this blog is an effort to understand Job’s emotions.  I offer Job’s own words with only a brief description of each section.  Read these and allow your heart to echo with Job’s.

As we begin to hear Job’s expressions of grief.  Listen first to his desire to speak.  He said, I just talk…

“I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”  (7:11)

Job’s words fall in five areas:

Cries for Understanding-Relational Struggles

Job cries out from the depth of his emotions.  He wants his friends to understand his

emotions. They simply could not.  We do well to understand that our friends and family may cry these same cries to us.

    1. You do not know my grief. (6:1-2)
      1. Then Job replied: 2 “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales.”.
    2. “Look at me” (6:28)
      1. 28 “But now be so kind as to look at me. Would I lie to your face?”
    3. How long will you look away from me? (7:19)
      1. 19 “Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant?”
    4. Job pleads for quiet: “Oh, be silent.” (13:5-6, 13) Please keep your peace and let me speak!
      1. 5 “If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. 6 Hear now my argument; listen to the pleas of my lips.”
      2. 13 “Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may.”
    5. You do not understand what I am going through. (16:4)
      1. 4 “I also could speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you.”
    6. Give me some space, if I am wrong, leave me alone.  (19:3-4) He says, “I feel crushed and attacked.”
      1. 3 “Ten times now you have reproached me; shamelessly you attack me. 4 If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone.”
    7. Everyone deserts me. (19:14-16)
      1. 14 “My relatives have gone away; my closest friends have forgotten me. 15 My guests and my female servants count me a foreigner; they look on me as on a stranger. 16 I summon my servant, but he does not answer, though I beg him with my own mouth.”
    8. Have pity on me. (19:21)
      1. “Have pity on me, my friends, have pity, for the hand of God has struck me.”
    9. Listen to me carefully.  Hold your tongue for a moment. (21:2-3) (It is a gift)
      1. 2 “Listen carefully to my words; let this be the consolation you give me. 3 Bear with me while I speak, and after I have spoken, mock on.”
    10. Your nonsense does not console me (21:34)
      1. “So how can you console me with your nonsense? Nothing is left of your answers but falsehood!”

Shouts of Emotional Turmoil

Job cries out more than just for understanding and support.  He expresses his great

emotional struggle.

    1. Frustration-Futility (7:1-3)
      1. “Do not mortals have hard service on earth? Are not their days like those of hired laborers? 2 Like a slave longing for the evening shadows, or a hired laborer waiting to be paid, 3 so I have been allotted months of futility, and nights of misery have been assigned to me.”
    2. Sleeplessness (7:4)
      1. “When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get up?’ The night drags on, and I toss and turn until dawn.”
    3. He is crushed (16:7-14) He says:
      1. “7 Surely, God, you have worn me out; you have devastated my entire household. 8 You have shriveled me up—and it has become a witness; my gauntness rises up and testifies against me. 9 God assails me and tears me in his anger and gnashes his teeth at me; my opponent fastens on me his piercing eyes. 10 People open their mouths to jeer at me; they strike my cheek in scorn and unite together against me. 11 God has turned me over to the ungodly and thrown me into the clutches of the wicked. 12 All was well with me, but he shattered me; he seized me by the neck and crushed me. He has made me his target; 13his archers surround me. Without pity, he pierces my kidneys and spills my gall on the ground. 14 Again and again he bursts upon me; he rushes at me like a warrior.”

He is Torn (Verse 9): Gnashing teeth at someone is the sign of irrational anger.   Like a helpless animal in the clutches of a desperate, ravenous beast, he feels God’s harsh strikes tearing him as though in anger.

He is Shattered (Verse 12): The picture is something broken and scattered around the room.   When you are shattered you lose your identity, and you really cannot be put back together again by ordinary means.

He is Pierced (Verse 13): Arrows are a sharp, jabbing pain, a pain that simultaneously captures the violation and extremely sharp anguish of pain.

    1. My spirit is broken, my days are extinguished. (17:1)
      1. “My spirit is broken, my days are cut short, the grave awaits me.”

Expression of Hopelessness

One of the great struggles brought on by grief is a feeling of hopelessness.  People try to find some foundation but begin to doubt that such a level ground exists.  It is not unusual to hear cries of hopelessness.  Our hearts echo with Job.

    1. God will not answer when I call. (9:16)
      1. “Even if I summoned him and he responded, I do not believe he would give me a hearing.”
    2. Job believed God would not answer.  This is also a common complaint (19:7, 23:2-9, 31:35)
      1. 19:7 “Though I cry, ‘Violence!’ I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice.”
      2. 23:2-9 “Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. 3 If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling!  4 I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. 5 I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say to me. 6 Would he vigorously oppose me? No, he would not press charges against me. 7 There the upright can establish their innocence before him, and there I would be delivered forever from my judge. 8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.”
      3. 31:35 “Oh, that I had someone to hear me! I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me; let my accuser put his indictment in writing.”

Spiritual Distance

Painfully, from the depths of our grief we can often feel a distance develop between us and God.  We may believe He exists, but He feels so far away. 

    1. I will speak!  Do not suppress the expressions of pain. (10:1-3)
      1. “I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. 2 I say to God: Do not declare me guilty, but tell me what charges you have against me. 3 Does it please you to oppress me, to spurn the work of your hands, while you smile on the plans of the wicked?”
    2. Job searches for God.  (23:3) “If only I knew where to find him.”
      1. 3 “If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling!”
    3. Until He spoke, I would not know what He would say (23:5)
      1. 5 “I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say to me.”
    4. “Oh that someone (God) would answer me (31:34-35) He wants someone to hear His case.
      1. 34 “because I so feared the crowd and so dreaded the contempt of the clans that I kept silent and would not go outside— 35 (“Oh, that I had someone to hear me! I sign now my defense—let the Almighty answer me; let my accuser put his indictment in writing.”
    5. “Where are you, God?”  (23:8-9)
      1. 8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. 9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.”
    6. If Only God were with me. Chapters 26-31 are one long cry from Job. He gives His opinions on God. He longs for the days when God was with him.  Knew his protection and presence.

 

Longing for death

    1. I wish God would let me die (6:8-9) He wants resolution one way or another. Either bless me or kill me.
      1. 8 “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, 9 that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut off my life!”
    2. Would prefer death (7:15)
      1. 15 “so that I prefer strangling and death, rather than this body of mine.”
    3. I wish I had died before anyone saw me. (10:18)
      1. “Why then did you bring me out of the womb? I wish I had died before any eye saw me.”
    4. If only you had hidden me in the grave.  (14:13)
      1. “If only you would hide me in the grave and conceal me till your anger has passed! If only you would set me a time and then remember me!”

 

Two words of assurance as you face the struggle:

  • God is always listening.  Whatever you are feeling, God knows about it. He hears our cries regardless how painful they are.
  • You can cry out to Him from wherever you are. If you are in a season of great pain, He will hear you.  A time of doubt?  He is listening.

NOTE: All Scripture Quotes are from the New International Version of the Bible.